Secondhand Heart
by FreeElf18411
Summary: Brynn Maddock is a 6th year Ravenclaw. Her best friend is Rose Weasley. Follow her as her life becomes increasingly complicated thanks to a certain big-headed Quidditch captain and a maddening insightful midget. Rated M for safety. Strictly AU.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros.

 **A/N: Now I want to start off by saying a few things. First off, Howdy! I will be posting a new chapter every Saturday so updates will be regular. Secondly, this is just my own take on The Next Generation, it is very AU, and if you don't like it , I apologise but I think you may be reading the wrong story . Also important to note is that in my version, Sirius never died (it was too horrifying I couldn't) . SO, enough from me , on to the story. I hope you enjoy , and if you do , don't forget that I love having new reviews to read! - Elf**

 **Also, I have started a tumblr page for this story, it will have character profiles from when I was writing my original notes for the story, info on story updates etc :**

 _ **.com**_

Chapter One – Coming Home

" _But the people who mattered were the people you chose instead of the people who were yours by an accident of birth. Real family was heart as much as, if not more than, blood."  
\- Martina Boone _

_**Song that inspired the chapter title** : Take Me Home_ – Jess Glynne

* * *

"Okay Mum, I have to get going now" I said, trying – and failing – to sound firm.

"That's Right, leave me here all on my own just like your useless bastard of a father!" she slurred, I could smell the gin from my spot on the other side of the sitting room. Her once beautiful face was now twisted into an ugly expression filled with hurt and despair, her blonde hair so similar to mines lay dull and greasy around her shoulders. She gripped the square bottle with her tiny hands, fingernails bitten down to the quick, clinging onto it like it was her only lifeline. My heart ached to look at her. She had once been so vivacious. So happy and full of life, so proud to be a mother. As I looked at the skeletal woman before me, pyjamas covered in sweat stains and cigarette burns, It was hard to believe that she was the same woman. I spent most of my life grieving the person she once was, I guess I was still clinging to that faint glimmer of hope that one day she would come back to me, otherwise, why did I stay?

"Mum, please, don't do this" I pleaded with her , " You know I have to go! It's school, you're being unfair." I felt tears prick my eyes, Why today of all days? How was I supposed to leave her here like this? Behind the malice, I could see a deep sadness behind my mother's eyes, could see her silently begging me not to leave her all alone. This happened every time; the screaming, the crying, the inevitable gut-wrenching guilt I would feel the second I walked out of the door. It was our routine.

"Well , bugger off then! It's what you're best at! " she wailed , sending her glass bottle careering towards me, spraying the foul-smelling liquid inside everywhere, before it missed, colliding with the wall beside me. I felt a sharp sting on my left cheek as a small shard of stray glass managed to find me . I wanted to scream. Why couldn't she understand? Why couldn't she just put on a brave face for one stupid day , protect me for a change, like a normal mother?

I bit my lip as I instantly regretted my angry thoughts, and felt so grateful today wasn't the day I finally snapped and expressed them all out loud. I gave the woman in from of me , who I loved and resented in equal measure, one last helpless look before turning around and walking out the door.

"Bye mum, I love you" I whispered quietly as a silent tear rolled down my cheek, causing my fresh gash to sting and burn. I hardly noticed, feeling numb as I finally shut the door behind me.

As I stepped through the barrier at King's Cross and caught my first glance at the beautiful scarlet steam engine my heart fluttered a little, performing a little happy dance. I was really here . After nine decidedly draining weeks , I was finally going home.

" Merlin , Brynn what happened to your face?!" gasped Ginny Potter , who spotted me as I was scanning the platform for Rose.

Damn. In all my brooding self-pity I had forgotten about my cheek, what must it look like? So stupid.

"What, this? Oh its nothing, just a scratch" I laughed nervously, quickly pulling a tissue from my pocket, trying to wipe the worst of the blood off. I had always been a terrible liar.

Ginny's only response was the fiery look in her eyes and the tightening of her lips, her mouth set into a grim line as she set to work on healing and cleaning the cut. We both knew where the cut had come from, this wasn't the first time she had had to mop me up after one of Mum's episodes. Ginny had always been so kind to me, in reality I was only her niece's best friend, but she had always treated me like family, taken me in when my mum locked me out of the house for the millionth time. She had given me a place where I could feel safe and welcome, without judgement, without question, she had always just understood . She was one of the kindest people I had ever met, and on much darker days than today , I wished that she were my mother instead.

Although, that would make me related to James Potter. I shuddered visibly at the thought.

"Brynn! Oh my God you're here! I've missed you too much" A flying mess of red curls came hurtling towards me at top speed, slamming into me with so much force I almost fell over, taking the flying hairball with me. However, the attack wasn't finished yet, once I had just begun to regain my balance I was enveloped in a bone crushing hug, so tight I could feel my star shaped pendant digging into my chest painfully.

"God Rose, I only seen you a fortnight ago! " I laughed , returning the hug enthusiastically before finally breaking free from this madwoman's clutches.

"A week is far too long without my soul mate!" she exclaimed, clutching her heart melodramatically, laughter in her eyes.

I guffawed loudly at her antics. My mood instantly lifted and even Ginny's eyes crinkled with humour, forgetting her concern from two minutes previous.

Rose Weasley is my best friend. And as already mentioned, she is also my soul mate. In a completely platonic way, I am in love with this girl . Rose is my other half. The yin to my yang, the John Lennon to my Paul McCartney, the Romeo to my- well you get the gist.

Whenever I get all anxious and weird over all my emotional bullshit , she is right there, armed with a bucketload of mint chocolate chip ice cream and an endless supply of distasteful jokes about the boys in our year. When she is becoming insufferable with her pre-exams madness, I'm there to slap her out of it (literally) and force her to get drunk off her ass on Firewhiskey with me until she is sufficiently relaxed. We just fit. I don't think I could love another human being more than I love Rose, She is the sister I never had .

Yes I am aware that it might seem over the top to the rest of the world , but there it is. I hope I never get married, because that poor guy will have to get comfortable in that second place spot in my heart . Rose always says that we're never getting married anyways , we'll just become cranky 100 year old virgin spinsters together and then one day we'll just up and decide to blow this crazy joint once and for all and go out in a blaze of glory and hell-fire like Thelma and Louise.

If I hadn't mentioned, Rose is also completely bonkers.

"You bitches why didn't you write? I was stuck with my idiot brother and his dumbass friends with no sane human contact for _two whole weeks_! You guys are super shitty friends, I might have to trade you in for a new lot" came a deadpan voice from my left.

Ah Leanne, pleasant as ever . She likes to pretend to be super bitchy and cynical about everything. It's her bit.

I know the truth though, I saw her cry when we watched Marley & Me at Rose's house two summers ago. _And,_ I just so happen to know that she still has her childhood teddy bear Mr. Rumpus tucked away in her trunk; he's a yellow fluffy rabbit in a tartan waistcoat and bow-tie and she adores him. She told me this one drunken night over the summer , and threatened me with pain of death if I ever told anyone.

I just know that there's a soft and squishy centre buried deep down somewhere underneath all that heavy eyeliner and purple lipstick. Pia says I'm setting myself up for is disappointment; all I'll find there is a large black hole where her heart should be. I say she's getting Leanne mixed up with herself.

She must be at least a little bit nice, her parents are Neville and Hannah Longbottom for Merlin's sake!

"I'm sorry Lee, I had stuff going on" I responded earnestly, feeling awful. _Just another thing to feel guilty for, eh?_

"Ah forget it, I don't need you abandoners anyways, I made my own fun in the end. Now, lets get our asses on this train so we can get a good compartment before they're all swarming with first years"

We grabbed a compartment towards the end of the carriage, and we had barely loaded our trunks before Rose was rushing out for the Prefect's meeting, leaving me and Leanne alone for a little while , while we waited on the rest of the gang to join us.

It was fun, she told me all the crazy stuff her brother Frank and his friends got up to over the summer, and I regaled her with the crazy tales of my week spent at the Weasley house, and we eventually circled round to Leanne's laughter inducing, boy-filled adventures, and of these there were many. Not all of them were pretty, I'll tell you. We were both in stitches by the time Charlotte found us.

"What's so funny guys?" she asked innocently, staring at the two if us expectantly. Charlotte was the sweetest person on the planet.

No, seriously. The girl didn't have a cruel bone in her entire body. I sometimes wonder if she was entirely human. She was like sunshine personified, always so happy and peaceful. Just being around her could send you into a place of total Zen. It was weird. What was even weirder – her best friend was _Leanne!_ That's right, the Queen of Darkness herself. Oh well, they do say opposites attract I suppose.

"Oh , nothing Charlie, trust us you wouldn't want to know" I informed her, wiping the tears from my eyes .

"Yeah, wouldn't want to offend a Hufflepuff''s delicate sensibilities would we? Leanne mocked.

"Your stories would offend even my ears Leanne" came another voice from the compartment door "and that's saying something".

"Ugh. What do you want Potter, didn't get enough of me over the summer?" she bantered back. (James was one of the aforementioned dumbass friends of Frank).

"Oh I got more than enough to last a lifetime thanks. I'm here to speak to the other pain in my arse" he laughed.

"Present!" I quipped, "What do you want, Jamie?"

He narrowed his eyes at the much hated childhood nickname and actually _growled._

I laughed in his face at that . Loudly.

In return he flicked me in the nose. It bloody hurt!

I turned his precious hair pink. He cried

Just business as usual for us really.

Once I had finished turning his hair back to its usual inky black, I gestured for him to take the seat across from mines. So of course he picked the one next to me. Bloody Potter. Always has to do the opposite of what you say. He's lucky I like his mum too much to murder her first born.

"So, what can I do you for, Jamsey-boy?" I asked him teasingly. He let it slide this time, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about the first Hogsmeade visit actually"

"Aw, I'm sorry potter, but I think I'm washing my hair that day" I responded, trying to look genuinely apologetic, "I hear that the Giant Squid is looking, maybe she will go with you?"

"I'm not asking you out idiot" he responded, smacking me upside the head

"I prefer my dates to have an actual brain, rather that the fluff you keep in between your ears!"

Leanne laughed, I elbowed her in the ribs. Hard. Some friend she is.

" My mum wanted to know if you'll meet her for lunch, she wants to talk to you about something?" he continued, looking smug at having won this round. I scowled in response.

"Talk to me about what?" I asked warily, although I was pretty sure I knew what it was about.

"Damned if I know" he shrugged before helping himself to one of my chocolate frogs. I sent a dirty look his way. Stealing my damn chocolate, the greedy swine!

"Oh yeah! And she said don't forget to write or she'll send you a howler telling everyone about that one time when you sleep walked into her bedroom and-"

"Okay! That's enough , I get the point! ... now for the love of Merlin leave before I strangle you." I grumbled

James shot me another smug look , before nicking another frog from the pile and ducking out of the compartment before I had a chance to retaliate.

Bloody Potters.

The rest of the train ride was mercifully uneventful , although I did notice that Pia hadn't bothered to come and find us all journey. That didn't worry me too much though, she didn't always like to be surrounded by people , she was strange that way. Being alone is just about the worst thing I could imagine, but Pia relishes the peace and quiet . She says its important for her to "be alone with her thoughts" . I wouldn't be surprised if she was just off enjoying her last bit of serenity before she was once again forced to share a room with four other Ravenclaw girls for the next ten months.

I met up with Rose again as the train was pulling into Hogsmeade and we headed off with Leanne and Charlie to grab a carriage. They were filling up quickly, so we ended up stuck in next to a couple of second years, who were twittering annoyingly about one thing or another, while Rose ranted on about something Scorpius Malfoy apparently did.

"I mean, how he even _became_ a prefect I don't even – Brynn , are you listening to me?!" Rose snapped at me , pulling me from my daydream.

"Yes Rose, Malfoy's a massive arse , he's the spawn of Satan , not fit to wear a Prefect's badge , _I know!_ "

Rose harrumphed at that, clearly upset that she doesn't get to lecture me on the importance of paying attention when your best friend is ranting. I sniggered behind my hand.

Now, to be honest I wasn't really listening to a word Rose was saying, but by 6th year I have the Malfoy speech down pat. Rose has bitched and moaned about Scorpius bleeding Malfoy for six years, without fail. It does stick with you.

The worst part is, Scorp isn't even really a bad guy. I think Rose just can't forgive that he beat her to top student in first year, or the fact that they've been back and forth for the title their whole school career.

Rose really hates losing.

Point is, ever since then they have been at each others throats. They bring out the worst parts of each other. When they come to blows, anyone in the near vicinity better take cover. Last time, Louis Weasley ended up in the hospital wing with tentacles where his ears should have been. It wasn't pretty.

"You know, I bet if you two would just find a broom cupboard somewhere and get it over with already , I bet you would feel loads better" said Leanne slyly, knowing exactly how Rose would react, and anticipating the red faced rage that would follow.

Except it never came. Instead, Rose …. she blushed! AND stuttered.

I have never, in the ten years I've known her, seen Rose lost for words. This was big.

"Oh. My. God" I breathed, a slow look of realisation taking over my features. There was a party, over the summer. And Rose ….she disappeared , and... Oh God. I stared at her, slack – jawed.

Rose shot me look that was simultaneously panicked and deadly, clearly intended to say " Shut Up. Now"

So I did, out of fear for my very life.

But I returned her look with one of my own. It said "this isn't over, Red" . Either that or I just looked constipated. Any which way, I think she got the point.

Rose' almost imperceptible nod of her head told me that she did.

We arrived at the welcoming feast, and were surprised to see Pia already sitting there at the Ravenclaw table, seemingly the first student there. I skipped over to my other best friend happily, and plopped down next to her before engulfing her in a warm hug, which she returned with just as much enthusiasm.

Cassiopeia Carolina Black. Quiet, graceful and reserved on the outside, looking every inch the pureblood lady she was. Behind her cool exterior though, hid an extremely sharp mind, a quick wit and a wicked sense of humour. I suppose it shouldn't be surprising, she was the daughter of Sirius Black after all. Pia also has a very warm hart, once you crack away the hard surface .

Our relationship is different than the one I have with Rose. Pia and I are each others' confidant, no one understands the stuff I go through more than she does, and we can talk to each other without fear of judgement, complete freedom to vent. She always jokes that it's not friendship that we've found in each other – its therapy.

"Hiya P! We missed you on the train, where did you go?" I asked cheerily , happy to be home and reunited with all of my favourite people.

"I didn't take the train, I took the Floo " she responded, smirking smugly.

"Hey! No Fair! How come you didn't have to sit through the painfully boring train ride here!" Leanne pouted.

"Jeez Lee, nice to know that you enjoy our company so much. You were an absolute joy yourself" I quipped, used to her antics.

"You'll see" was the only response Pia gave. Well, that and and eyebrow raise that I can only assume was supposed to be mysterious.

Lee and Charlotte started to protest and push for more information. I just stayed silent, turning away with a laugh and a shake of my head, knowing that this is exactly the reaction she had wanted. I could she the mischief glittering behind her eyes, as she tried to maintain the bored expression plastered across he features.

I turned around to Rose, to see her reaction to Pia's announcement, but instead found her scanning the crowd filing into the Great Hall, expression unreadable.

"Rose" I whispered in her ear, causing her to jump. I giggled softly.

"What _is_ it Brynn" she snapped , looking flustered and annoyed.

"Don't get snippy with me Madam, it's not my fault your new toy boy hasn't arrived yet. I was _going_ to say, before I was rudely interrupted, that if you don't want anyone else making the connection that I did, you should try actually engaging in the conversation at hand instead of making googly eyes at the door"

"I was _not_ making googly eyes" Rose huffed, but promptly turned back around to face the rest of us .

"Sure you weren't" I chuckled.

God it was good to be home.

Turns out, the reason that Pia didn't have to take the train this year is that her dad is the new DADA professor!

This was big news. Big, exciting news. We all loved Sirius (Sorry, Professor Black now right?) . The weekend we spend at Pia's every summer is always highly anticipated. He always has the most amazing stories, not to mention the fact that he is absolutely gorgeous.

I , of course, smacked Pia in the arm immediately for withholding this information. She only smiled in return. This year was going to be a good one, I could feel it!

After the feast, our bellies full, and sufficiently sleepy, we all trekked up to our respective dormitories; Pia, Rose and I to Ravenclaw, Charlie and Lee to Hufflepuff. I squealed and dove head first into my insanely comfortable four poster bed with blue and bronze hangings. No bed on earth had ever been as comfortable as my one as Hogwarts. I wrapped myself up in a cocoon , fully clothed, just breathing in the fresh comforting scent.

Rose laughed at my behaviour, and immediately jumped in next to me grabbing her own section of my duvet. This was a regular occurrence with Rose and I, we loved our sleepovers. Even if Rose was a duvet hog.

" Seriously, will you two just get on with it! Just admit how much you love each other and let the rest of us get on with our lives in peace!" came a snarky voice from the doorway.

Ah, our other dorm mate; Romona Malfoy. Blonde, leggy, sarcastic and brilliant.

Romy is hilarious, and I personally enjoy her company. Pia – not so much.

"No one asked you _Malfoy"_ hissed Pia , eyes narrowing.

Now, I have no idea where the hatred came from. Apparently , things have been this way since they were just toddlers. But whatever the reason, Romy cannot do anything without getting under Pia's skin. It can sometimes make life pretty difficult for us all if she decides to respond to Pia's attacks.

Luckily, today was not one of those days.

"oh, pipe down Black, they know I'm kidding" Romy waved her away. "So how was your summer Brynn, _Rose?"_ she waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Rose's face slowly turned the colour of her hair as it filled with heat.

 _Damn, I forgot how close she was to her brother._

"My summer was great thanks, yours?" I responded quickly, trying to direct her attention away from Rose.

"Oh, fine I guess" she responded lazily, as she took off her leather ankle boots. " The parents took us to visit the château in Nice. It was gorgeous but with only my parents and the four boys for company, it got pretty dull fast."

"Sounds lonely" I agreed, secretly hating her a little for her charmed life and lovely normal family.

Rose and I waited until everyone else had nodded off , and then I pulled the curtains shut, grabbed my secret stash of chocolate and Butterbeer and climbed in beside her.

"Okay, all done, now spill" I whispered excitedly , unable to wait any longer.

"Alright, but you can't judge me, you promise?" she grumbled, nervously nibbling on a piece of chocolate.

"Of course I won't, I promise!" I reassured her, a little hurt that she even had to ask, but ignoring it because she was obviously really nervous.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself, and began.

"Okay, so as you know, Dylan McCleod had a massive party while his parents were away to that African Safari. " I nodded my assent.

"Right. Well, obviously you guys had been teasing me all night about how I was so perfect and boring and never did anything fun, Rose the Perfect Prefect , I think it was?"

I felt a little guilty then, I don't usually drink Firewhiskey, and I had been a little worse for wear, and Rose had been lecturing me. So I had snapped the nickname in a moment of drunken anger. It wasn't even true, Rose was the most fun person I knew. But once it was out there, it caught on, and everyone started joining in.

Rose must have registered the guilt on my face because she continued;

"Oh, don't look so down , I'm over it darling. I know I'm fabulous. ANYWAYS, I was pretty pissed, and you know what that looks like. So I started doing shots with Miles Kirke. Surprisingly nice guy by the way! After that, I still felt annoyed so I went out onto the veranda to try to clear my head. Scorpius was already there so I - "

"Scorpius is it now?" I asked teasingly. She glared in return.

"Well that's his name isn't it?" she said sharply "And if you want to hear the rest of my story you'll stay silent until the end or so help me God , I will go back to my own bed!"

I apologised and urged her to continue, vowing to be silent.

"So I turned to leave, and he-he asked me not to. Normally I would have just laughed in his face and walked away, but I was tipsy and he looked sad. I stayed. Oh Brynn, it was amazing! We stayed up talking all night, we laughed and argued and drank Firewhisky and just talked. For hours. I even tried a cigarette! Not as bad as you would think actually"

She was getting giddy as she explained all of this. Her eyes were shining and she was lost in the memory. I loved seeing my best friend happy. But I'm ashamed to admit I felt just a twinge of jealousy at that moment, like she was leaving me behind. I pushed the feeling away quickly, wanting to hear the rest of her tale.

"It started to get light out, and we watched the sun go up together. That's when he kissed me. It just felt wonderful. I was drunk, and feeling bold, and so I asked him to come upstairs with me. We …."

She hesitated , looking worriedly at me.

"We slept together, and it was just... it was bliss. Everyone says that your first time is awful , but it wasn't , it was just" She sighed happily.

" Brynn, we've been meeting up all summer. The week he was in France was the worst. I really like him." she blushed then, suddenly nervous.

I swallowed the strange feeling in my throat, and decided to be a good friend.

"Well , that's so great Rosie, I'm so happy for you. But, why are you pretending that you still hate him?".

My voice sounded hollow, even to me. I didn't know how she didn't notice it.

"My dad would go spare! He hates the Malfoys. Not to mention my 5000 cousins who scare off any boy who so much as _looks_ at me." She huffed angrily.

I understood. I had seen many a poor sap face the wrath of the Wotters. It wasn't pretty

"Will you help me keep it a secret Brynn. Just for a while? I really need this"

She looked up at me pleadingly.

I sighed " Of course I will, what're sisters for?"

She smiled up at me greatfully before engulfing me in a massive Rose-hug.

I was wrong, this year wasn't going to be a great one. The word I was looking for was _eventful._

* * *

 _ **A/N: Wooo! First chapter over! Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading guys.**_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros.

 **A/N: Okay, onto Chapter 2! I know there were some formatting issues with the first chapter, but I'm working on it I swear! Also, I know the first few chapters will be quite information heavy, but I feel that this is important to help lay the groundwork and build the characters for later chapters. To those who are coming back , Thanks! And to my new readers : Welcome! Now, on with the story! - Elf**

 **Also, I have started a tumblr page for this story, it will have character profiles from when I was writing my original notes for the story, info on story updates etc :**

 _ **takemysecondhandheart**_

Chapter One – Coming Home Chapter 2: Stay Together For The Kids

 _We all have a personal pool of quicksand inside us where we begin to sink and need friends and family to find us and remind us of all the good that has been and will be._

 _-Regina Brett_

 _ **Song that inspired the chapter title** : Stay Together for the Kids_ – Blink 182

It only took a few short days to fall back into the familiar rhythm of Hogwarts life. So far, it had been pretty uneventful, blissfully boring, just the way I liked it. The one marked difference this year though, had been Defence of the Dark Arts classes. Now, don't get me wrong, Professor Goldstein had always been a decent teacher, fair and to he point and that worked well enough. Sirius though – he was revelation!

The fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins had been the first to have his class on Monday. After the pure awe and admiration of their descriptions, the whole school was abuzz with anticipation for his class. Finally, on Wednesday morning, it was our turn – the sixth year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. It was the first time in recent memory that I had known every single student to be early. Pia had come along early with the rest of us , but she just sat in her seat making her paper aeroplane zoom around the room, looking downright bored. This was a stark contrast to the excited chatter going on around us. I looked at Pia questioningly and raised an eyebrow. She only huffed exasperatedly in response before flying her plane directly into the back of Romy's head. She snapped her head round, eyes scanning the room for the culprit before they locked onto a smug looking Pia and narrowed. She opened her mouth to retort, but just then the classroom door was swung open.

Sirius strutted into the room confidently, looking dynamic and powerful. This image was quickly shattered when he spotted us in the crowd and waved cheerfully and enthusiastically. Leanne snorted at this, Pia just rolled her eyes. Charlotte and Rose tried to conceal their snickers. I liked Sirius, and it felt rude to ignore him so I shot him a smile and wave in return. He beamed back.

"Okay class, I'm Professor Black, and I'm going to be with you for the foreseeable future. I will be getting you prepared, not only for your NEWTs , but to defend yourselves in the real world. I want this class to be a collaboration between yourselves and me. If something I'm doing isn't working, or you guys just aren't getting it – come and talk. Although I am a man of great looks, and many talents , being a mind reader isn't one of them"

The class laughed then at Sirius' joking tone, and immediately relaxed. I suspected this was the desired affect.

"In the same vein" he continued, "If I ask something of you, I expect it to be taken on board. I do not have time for anyone who just wants an easy ride. This class will be hard work, I focus mainly on the practical, so most of your theoretical learning will be done on your own time, with regular checks of your understanding in the form of homework essays and class tests. However, for those of you who are willing to make the effort , this class can also be a great experience."

He finished with a charming smile. The class had fallen silent . They could see that he meant business. The Ravenclaw in me was crowing in approval at his words. It was so refreshing for me, to see a Professor who seen learning as a two-way street, that extended trust and respect to us as students and as people, with the expectation of receiving the same in return.

After that, the class went by far too quickly for my liking. It was mostly a lesson to test where we all were in terms of skill. He placed us all in pairs, and got us to duel. I was pitted against Charlotte, and as we both received Es in our Defence OWL, we were pretty evenly matched , she slightly edged me in skill though and eventually won the duel with a well placed stunner.

The really exciting part though, was when Pia and Romy were paired up; the two having received Os. There were only 5 in the year who received this mark. The only other person in the class being Rose, but she had a lower practical score, and so was paired with Jonas Matthews from Hufflepuff.

Anyway, getting back to the point. Romy looked at Pia with a predatory gleam in her eyes when she heard who she was partnered with. She clearly hadn't forgotten Pia's little stunt from earlier and relished the chance to get her revenge. Pia's expression matched hers, cruel glee marring her usually beautiful features.

Watching the two girls duel was breathtaking. It looked like they were performing an intricate dance , perfected over decades of careful practice. They were both proficient in silent casting, and the quiet only made the duel that much more impressive. Each of them dodged and dived past the others hexes with what seemed like minimal effort.

I was shocked at the concentration in Pia's eyes, and the hate rolling off of her in waves. She seemed like she genuinely wanted to hurt Romy. The strange thing was, there was none of the same energy from Romy, she seemed to be having fun, seeing this as a game the to of them played.

Sirius seemed to be just as concerned as I was, looking at his daughter like he was seeing her for the first time.

I could see Romy start to slow and tire, and knew that the duel would be over soon. Pia gave a sharp flourish of her wand, and Romy wasn't quick enough. She was thrown backwards across the room , landing with a smack against the back wall of the classroom, knocking her out and sending her wand flying in the opposite direction.

Rose and I quickly ran over to make sure that she was okay, but I didn't miss the look of smug satisfaction from Pia before she put her wand back into her robes.

Apparently Sirius hadn't missed it either, as a furious look flashed across his face , before it returned to an impassive one.

"Miss Maddock, Miss Weasley, could you escort Miss Malfoy to the Hospital Wing for me? Class is finished for today. Miss Black could you stay behind after class please?"

I had never seen Sirius so formal or so cold. I quickly nodded my assent ans Rose and I set to work moving Romy onto the stretcher Lee had conjured .

I looked over at Pia one last time before exiting the classroom. She glared back at me insolently, clearly refusing to acknowledge that this time, she had gone too far.

We didn't see Pia at dinner that night. She hadn't been at any of her afternoon classes either. Romy was another member of our little group conspicuously absent tonight , but that was because she was still in the hospital wing with a minor concussion. Luckily, she was going to be okay but Madame Pomfrey wanted to keep her in overnight just to be safe, much to her chagrin.

"Rosie, where d'you reckon Cass is?" I ask worriedly, biting my lip.

Pia is one of my best friends, and knowing her as well as I do, I know that leaving her alone when she's so wound up like this is never a good idea. I learned that lesson in our third year when she spotted her mum out on our first Hogsmeade. We all decided to give her her space and came back to find the dormitory ruined by an explosive bout of accidental magic. Now obviously, she's gained better control of her magic since then, but the point is, leaving Cass alone with her anger never ends well.

"I don't know Bee, and frankly, I don't care" Rose huffed "That was bang out of order what she did to Romy, and I hope she has detention every night until the day she graduates!"

"I know it was shite, and you're right she does deserve whatever punishment the _teachers_ give her.But she's our friend and she's obviously going through something and it's not out job to judge!" I scold her.

Now, I've already told you how much I love Rose, but she can be a little (okay, a lot!) judgemental. She sees everything as either black or white. I think it's hard for her to see any shades of grey within people. Its easy to always do the right thing when you don't have to constantly fight against the demons inside yourself whispering in your ear to go the other way. I understand that. That's why we work, we push each other to be better.

Rose looks a little guilty then. She obviously never thought of it that way.

"Okay, I see your point" she concedes "I'll help you look for her."

I beam at her in response. She rolls her eyes at me.

"Don't you ever get sick of keeping everyone around you in check?" she teases.

 _Not everyone_ , I think to myself sadly.

"Never in a million years" I smile back.

And I really, truly meant it.

It didn't take me long to figure out where Cass would be.

When Cass came to Sirius, she was the loneliest, saddest and most angry 5 year-old you've ever seen. She wouldn't speak a single word to anyone. She had completely withdrawn from the world. And honestly, if you knew her mother, you wouldn't blame her. Sirius was lost, he didn't know what to do.

He tried getting her to socialise with other children (i.e, the "Wotters") , he tried sending her to specialist Mind Healers, Muggle and Magical. He even had her tested for all sorts of medical conditions.

Nothing worked. He was starting to lose all hope of ever getting his little girl to talk to him.

It was Rose's Mum who eventually figured it out. Of course it was, the woman is a genius. It was just a small thing, tiny really. She noticed that every time she would play Sirius' old grand piano, she noticed that Pia would start to sway, just lightly, and she would look just a little more peaceful.

So, that was it. Sirius found the best contemporary dance school in London, and slowly, very slowly, Pia started to bloom. She started to become more relaxed, more content, and eventually happier. But she still didn't speak. Not until she was seven years old. It took her weeks to build up the courage. She asked Sirius if she could start ballet lessons.

He cried like a baby, Pia still remembers how happy he was that day.

"Of course you can! You can have anything you want sweet pea, all you have to do is ask! " He had cried, picking her up and dancing with her around the room.

She had giggled then. Really truly laughed for the first time in years.

That was the moment that Pia had realised that she had someone who loved her and wanted to make her happy.

Her relationship with Sirius had gone from strength to strength since then. She loved him more than anyone , and he was her whole world.

One thing that had never changed though. Whenever she started to feel like life was overwhelming her again; she would dance.

Now , Pia had told me all of this under the strictest of confidence. We all knew that she as a phenomenal dancer, and that she had a temper, but the same could be said for most of the Blacks. The rest was just between her and I. Hermione hadn't even told Rose any of it.

This is why , when I approached the seventh floor , I sent Rose to the kitchens to get enough junk food to feed a small army and take it back to the dorm; we would need it later.

I approached the doors of the Room of Requirement, and asked for the room I needed.

It was a professional sized dance studio; airy and mirrored on all sides. The floor was springy and flawless, the ceilings were high and white and the met the mirrors on all four sides. There was a barre running along the back wall, and in the middle of the room ; perfection.

Pia danced to a beautiful piece of piano music, her slender legs extending and contracting gracefully as she turned over and over again, gaining speed with every rotation, her dark curls springing free from her messy bun, her face a bright shade of red. Her whole body was soaked in sweat, droplets shaking free as she spun, forming a puddle on the floor.

She must have been here for hours, I didn't know how her body hadn't collapsed by now. I crossed the floor towards my friend, and grasped her tightly, stopping her in her tracks.

"Cass, stop!" I said forcefully, staring into her stormy grey eyes, my arms still encircled around

"Get off of me!" She yelled, frenzied, trying to break free of my hold , but her muscles, finally giving into the fatigue, would not cooperate.

"No" I said forcefully, tightening my embrace.

She struggled for a few minutes, until her screams turned to sobs and she collapsed into my arms , bringing us both to the floor, and cried until there was nothing left.

I was terrified. This must be really bad. I had known Cass for almost as long as I had known Rose, and I had seen her at her very worst, but never once had I seen her cry. Even when she broke her arm from falling down the stairs when she was only 10 years old, she didn't cry. She just cursed loudly until we could get her to St Mungo's, much to Sirius amusement and Hermione's disapproval.

I just sat there on the ground, holding her and stroking her hair like I had done so many times with my own mother , and waited until she was ready to talk.

After what felt like hours, although it couldn't have been more than twenty minutes, of silence, Pia was finally ready to talk.

"I'm sorry for what I done to Romona today. Is she alright?" she asked me, still lying in my lap, her voice small.

"She'll be okay, minor concussion, but no lasting damage."

She visibly relaxed then, closing her eyes and letting go of a deep breath she had obviously been holding in.

"Why did you do it Cass? I've _never_ seen you look at anyone that way before" I asked gently, not wanting to push her too hard.

" I know, I'm so sorry" she started quietly " it's not even her I'm angry with. It's my mother"

I looked at her quizzically.

"Your mother? What does she have to do with Romy?"

"Everything" she sighed, "You know that lovely Aunt she's always going on about in France? The one who's always giving her advice, sending her letters all year round, coming to visit her on the holidays and giving her a place to stay when her folks are being pricks?"

"Yeah of course, her dad's cousin" I nodded to show that I knew exactly who she was talking about.

"Well, that lovely Aunt is my mother."

I was taken aback by this, but tried to keep my expression neutral.

"Oh. Right" I said, my voice sober " and how long have you known that?"

"I've always known"

That shocked me even more. Cass was even stronger than I thought. I can't imagine how painful it must have been for her all of these years, hearing Romy go on about how fabulous her Aunt Phaedra is, when she was a monster to Pia.

To be totally honest, I'm surprised nothing like this had happened before now.

"I'm so sorry" I said earnestly, pulling my friend into a hug. She clung to my embrace just as tightly.

"But why now Cass? You've been worse this year than ever before"

"I reached out to my mum this summer" she confessed, her eyes glassy with more tears threatening to spill over.

" She returned my letter unopened, with a note attached telling me never to contact her again."

Cassiopeia looked broken and vulnerable as she told me that last part. I felt he anger bubble up inside me then. Unbridled rage at that horrible selfish bitch took control of my body for a few seconds, before I had to force it back down to help my friend. I swear, I'm repressing so much these days, I'm going to implode.

"Whats wrong with me Bee?" she pleaded with me desperately "What's so wrong with me that my own mother doesn't want me?"

She broke down into uncontrollable sobs again. I could feel every ounce of pain and and impotent anger and deep all-consuming need to be accepted in those sobs. I knew that pain, it's the same one I lived with every day. I rocked my friend gently, and I let a few tears escape from my own eyes then, before quickly wiping them away.

"Now you listen to me right now" I tell her firmly, still holding her. " You are one of the most amazing people I know, I would fall apart without you, not to mention your dad, and all of the girls. You know that we love you. And we don't do it because we have to. We _all_ chose you Cass. We chose to love you because you're bloody brilliant! And now I don't know what issues that pathetic excuse for a human being Phaedra has, but they are exactly that; _her issues._ Hear me now Cassiopeia Black . There is nothing wrong with you. And when you get into Juliard , and become a world famous prima ballerina, or when you meet the man of your dreams and get married and have a bunch of little ballerinas of your own, whenever you become a ridiculously successful, happy human being, it will be because _you're brilliant_. And she would have had no part of that, and that's what she'll have to live with."

I finished my speech vehemently, and hoped that she heard me .

Looking down at her, Cass had finally stopped crying.

She jumped up, straightened her clothes and a determined look crossed her face.

"Right, you're right Brynn, I don't need her. There is one thing I do need though. Will you help me?"

"You know I will" I grinned. My friend as back.

"Okay, well I need to apologize to Mona, will you come with me?"

"I already said yes didn't I, lets go!" I smiled

She put her arm around me as we head towards the door, ready to face the world together.

"Pia"

"Yes?"

"You really stink"

"Breathe in the friendship Maddock"

Yeah, she's back.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros.

 **A/N: Okay guys! First off, I am so so so suuuuper sorry that I haven't posted any new chapters. In my feeble defence, I got really sick for a while there and spent most of my time in a hospital bed. All better now though! Secondly, There will be few changes in POV in this chapter, but I'm not headlining who at each change, so pay attention!But no worries, it will be pretty obvious. Lastly, thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed and/or followed thus far, and I hope you enjoy the next lovey dovey, Valentines inspired chapter!**

 **-Elf x**

 **Also, I have started a tumblr page for this story, it will have character profiles from when I was writing my original notes for the story, info on story updates etc :**

 _ **takemysecondhandheart**_

Chapter 3 : Pillow Talk

" _Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere."_ _  
_ _―_ _Mae West_

 ** _Song that inspired the chapter title:_** _Sweater Weather_ ** _–_** The Neighbourhood

"Gimme back my skirt, I have to go!" I giggled girlishly as the gorgeous 17 year old boy in front of me dangled my school skirt _just_ out of reach, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

"Come on Lee, one more from the road?" he banters cheekily, making my grin even wider as I leaned over to grab for the skirt , my front flush against his (as , no doubt, was his intention).

"Yeah sure, who needs Charms anyways? " I scowl sarcastically, although my heart wasn't fully in it. Secretly, I was feeling myself give in to him.

"Exactly! That's what I'm saying. Now get in here you beautiful little tease so I can kiss you"

I sighed happily, sinking into bed beside this wonder of a boy as he kissed me tenderly, cradling my face as though it were made of porcelain and making me feel more vulnerable than I ever had before.

This was true intimacy, and for the first time in my life, I regretted all the others before him. I had never seen sex as anything else but just what it was. I had never felt bad for one second of pleasure, or one ounce of longing to do it all over again. I just gave it away in my fourth year to some random sixth year Hufflepuff boy in the broom closet next to the Astronomy Tower, because he seemed sweet and I was curious.

When I was with this boy though, I wanted nothing more than to go back. I wish he could have been my first.

Oh well, maybe I can settle for making him my last.

"I need to tell you something" I pant breathlessly as he peppers a light trail of kisses up and down my collar bone.

"Mmm?" he mutters questioningly, not really paying attention to anything that wasn't attached to his lips.

"... I ….love...you" I finally manage to whisper between kisses.

He stops dead.

His silence lasts a lifetime.

 _Okay, not a lifetime, but it felt that way at the time!_

Oh no. He hates me.

 _More seconds pass_

This is literally the worst moment of my life.

"Hey Weasley , Longbottom sent me up here to see why you weren't in He- LEANNE ?! "

 _Scratch that, THIS moment is most definitely worse._

"Oh, hey Frank!" I smile weakly "You remember Fred right?"

"You're unbelievable" I fume, buttoning up my shirt as I scowled at my dirty rat of a boyfriend.

"Why thank you" he smirked back. Cocky fucker. God I hate him.

No I don't. I love him.

I have decided though, quite recently in fact, that he is one of the most- no- _the_ most infuriating person on the entire planet!

"Shut up!" I snap angrily, not in the mood to play games.

"Oh come on Rosie, it's not my fault that you find me so irresistible that you just _had_ to have me right here in this broom closet" He chuckled, ruffling his stupid sexy blonde hair as he looks for his Slytherin tie.

"That's not what happened and you know it" I hiss angrily, pulling my skirt back down with what little dignity I could muster.

"That's pretty much how I remember it" he smiles, trying to anger me even further.

Stupid Malfoy. Stupid Me.

 _One time,_ I told him that arguing with him turns me on, and now he's picking fights whenever and wherever he can.

Now, it's not that I don't like sex. I really, _really do._

It's just getting so bloody _inconvenient._

And it's not like I haven't tried to just stop.

I have tried.

But he just gets me so raging mad, and hot, and bothered, and then I can't concentrate on any of my work anyway until I've dragged Scorpius to the nearest place that has the slightest semblance of privacy and worked out my problems.

Well, _not this time._

"Oh no, not this time mister!" I screech "You're not getting a round two! I _know_ that's what you're doing Malfoy! I'm not falling for it this time. You can go suck an egg! I've had enough! There is now a penis embargo on the Isle of Rose , and if you think my little island can't take care of all of it's issues on its _own_ then think again mister! Think again and again, because I make the decisions here, and you are now a persona non grata!"

I storm out of the broom closet, mess of red curls flouncing behind me, leaving behind a very confused looking Scorpius. Hmph! He can go and think on that , might do him some good to let the blood flow to his head for a change.

I must admit. I'm feeling pretty bad-ass!

That is, until, I trip over my still loose shoelaces and go flying, knocking down an unsuspecting Lucy on her way to potions.

 _Dear Lord, would it kill you to let me have one graceful, non-humiliating moment of relief from this comedy of errors that you call my life?_

"Hello Hugo, bit of light reading?"

I blink at the blonde pixie-like girl in front of me, surprised by her sudden appearance. Although, he should be used to it by now, having known her since birth.

It was unusual though, to see her without her partner in crime. I could only remember a handful of times in my entire life I had seen one without the other.

"Oh, hullo Evangeline , no, just reading up on some new Quidditch strategies. Homework from James. If you're looking for Lily, I haven't seen her today."

"Oh no, Lily and I aren't speaking at the moment so I thought I would come and have a chat with Teddy , he's always been kind to me. You know, you're the only person who calls me Evangeline? Everyone else calls me Evie, even my mother."

She looked at me with a faraway look in her eye, as if trying to figure something out. It was scary how much she looked like Aunt Luna when she did that.

"Evangeline is a pretty name, I like it, but if you prefer I can call you Evie?" I asked

"No no, I like Evangeline as well, my father picked the name" a flicker of sadness crossed her face then, and I felt compelled to comfort her, but I didn't know how, so instead I just stood there like a useless lump.

"Wait, did you say that you and _Lily_ have fallen out?" I asked, thinking bad to a few moments before.

"Oh yes. We fall out quite often , she's rather fiery you know?" she stated matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I suppose she is" I chuckled , knowing only too well just how 'fiery' Lily Potter could be if she wanted to. "What is she upset about now?"

"I told her that I thought that Mr. Bombadil was a silly name for a cat, and apparently I insulted her by not having read the book from which the name originates. Apparently she loaned it to me months ago and asked me to read it."

"You've never- What do you mean never?" I sputtered incredulously "How have you NEVER read Lord of the Rings?"

"You're fond of this book too?" she asked , seeming mildly interested.

"Book? No, no, this is an _experience_ Evangeline, its epic! You see , there are these rings of power..." I began excitedly, ready to dive into the epic tale.

What I didn't notice though, was the almost imperceptible smile on Evie's lips, or the flash of red hair duck out from behind the bookshelf behind me to flash her a quick thumbs up and reassuring smile.

Looking back, I should have known that Lily was behind this, the girl's a straight up genius!

I inhale deeply as the delicious smoke fills my lungs, the nicotine instantly relaxing my nerves and sending me into an instant state of calm. I know I shouldn't smoke, Mum would kill me for one thing, and a pissed off Ginny Potter is just bad for everyone involved.

But hey, I do a lot of things I shouldn't. For example, I shouldn't be sleeping with my cousins best mate in the whole world, who also happens to be my girlfriend, when we both know that I'm in love with someone else. I also shouldn't be hiding the fact that one of my best mates has been having sex with the sister of my other best friend all summer behind his back, and I _definitely_ shouldn't be skipping NEWT level potions to smoke behind Greenhouse 3 in an effort to avoid the aforementioned girlfriend.

But hey, I'm James Potter, that's who I am. Or it's who the press say I am anyway.

James Potter: Playboy Extraordinaire. Womaniser, Spoiled, Troublemaker.

The worst part is, it's all garbage. I get amazing grades in all of my classes, which I actually secretly work really hard to get. I may pull pranks, but nothing that would ever get anyone hurt or into any serious trouble.

And spoiled? With Harry for a father; I think not. If we ever wanted anything we had to earn it, and learning about how horrible his childhood was, I'm damn grateful for everything that I have. I have had 5 girlfriends in the past 2 years, never cheated on any of them, and only slept with Orlaith who I have been dating since before the summer, so sue me dammit!

But does anyone care about that? Nope.

So for once, I've decided to live up to their expectations; skive off class, smoke a couple of cigarettes and feel sorry for myself. So there.

I hear footsteps approaching and panic, trying to find a safe place to put out my cigarette.

"Calm down Potter, it's only me."

My heart flutters when I hear her airy laugh coming closer. Merlin I'm pathetic.

"Well, I thought you were one of my cousins or something! They do make up around seventy-five percent of the school population you know" I said drolly.

"Really? I thought it was more like eighty now? Oh well, you do have a point, the odds were with you on that one. Don't worry though, I'll keep your secret if you give me one"

I snort at her reply. I love how sharp she is, talking with her is just so engaging and entertaining and a whole other mess of gooey crap that I can't explain without feeling like a complete wuss.

"I didn't know you smoked Maddock , not very smart is it 'Claw?" I tease, handing her one, although I am genuinely surprised that I had missed this habit we apparently share.

"What does that say about you Jamie?" she snarks back, fumbling with the lighter, "And, I don't usually, decided to start, just been that kind of day. That's why I came here, I knew this is where you would be."

"I'm supposed to be in Potions. How did you know I was here?" I asked sceptically.

"You had a fight with Pritchard at lunch today, I knew you would want to avoid her. This is where you come when you're stressed. I've known you your whole life witless, I will _always_ know where find you. You can't escape!"

She says that last part with a sinister smile and wide eyes, making me laugh heartily, clearly trying to cheer me up. She's always doing this, looking after all of us, and by us I mean her friends, when we're sad or sick, It's almost like a superpower the way she can sniff out hurt and worry and know exactly what to say or do to make us feel better. I know that she's always trying to fix everyone else because she feels guilty that she can't do anything to help her mother. I pretend I don't know that's what she's doing, but it is.

"Okay psycho, you've successfully cheered me up, now tell me about this horrible day you've been having that's so bad it's driven you to smoke?"

She takes a deep drag on her smoke before answering, before promptly screwing up her face in disgust and throwing it away.

"Yuck! That's horrible James. Never let me do that again!" she exclaims loudly, before shuffling along to sit right beside me and leaning her head against my shoulder.

"And no, I really don't want to talk about today, what I want to do is sit right here with you , hear about your stupid fight with your lovely girlfriend and pretend that my problems don't exist for a while".

So that's what we did. I put my arm around her , and started talking. If that's what she needs from me right now, that's what I'll give her.

 _Dear Teddy,_

 _I miss you so much I can't breathe! It's only been two weeks and it feels like it's been an age! The apartment feels so empty without you, and I miss seeing when I get home , and telling you about my day. Don't get me wrong though ma cherie, I am so glad for you that you have found a job that you love that DOESN'T put you in harms way! I'd much rather be married to Ted the boring Hogwarts librarian than Teddy Lupin, the recently deceased Auror ! Looks like you took after your father after all! I'm sure both of them would be so proud of you. You are such a wonderful man Ted, and I can't wait until the day I become your wife! Only 6 more months._

 _Please give all of the kids my love when they stop by. And please please PLEASE write me more, your lovely letters are what get me through the day._

 _Well its getting late now, and I have an early start in the morning,_

 _Bonne nuit mon amour,_

 _Victoire Weasley (Soon to be Lupin – Eek!) xxxxx_

 **Vic,**

 **I miss you too, I'm so sorry I haven't written more. Madam Pince is even more terrifying now than she was when we were at school, she's been working me day and night to make sure that I know her "system" before she leaves. It mostly seems to involve a lot of screaming and throwing things at children paired with treating every book like it's my first born child.**

 **Anyway, how are things at the nursery? The little terrors broken you down yet? If not, well done to you, you're a greater (wo)man than I!**

 **All joking aside though, I really am truly happy here Vic. Happy in a way I never was at the Academy. I can't wait until you're my wife so that you can join me here, you should see the room they've given us! Way swankier than the ones the students have, it's like our own little apartment!**

 **I don't think I can wait until Easter to see you love, there's a Hogsmeade visit in 6weeks time, meet me there?**

 **I need to look at that gorgeous smile, and kiss your lips and feel at home again, the way I only do with you.**

 **I promise that I'll write more, every day if m'lady requests it!**

 **Hoping to hear from you soon,**

 **Your future husband (and bona fide sex symbol!)**

 **Teddy xxxxx**

 _To the bona fide sex symbol (?) ,_

 _Of course I will meet you there ! Wild horses couldn't keep me away!_

 _Perhaps you could show me around this " little flat" when I come to visit? I have a particular interest in the bedroom..._

 _I am so glad that you are happy my sweet, and I cannot wait to start our new life together._

 _The children are wonderful, I too have found a job that I love! I can't wait until it's our own children we're running around after , just the thought has me smiling as I write this letter._

 _And I accept your offer to write to me every single day. Don't miss one, or you're in trouble mister!_

 _Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny send their love, and ask that you write to them more as well, they do miss you._

 _Until we see each other again mon cherie,_

 _Vic xxxxxx_

 **A/N: Well, that concludes this fluffy chapter! Let me know what you think of the changes in POV. Hope you enjoyed!**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros.

 **A/N: Okay guys! Thanks so much for your views/reviews thus far, much appreciated! Once again, sorry about the long gap between chapters. Apparently I am a walking (or not so) disaster, I've broken my leg! Spent the last few weeks drugged up with painkillers so my apologies. Anyways, on with the story...**

 **-Elf x**

 **Also, I have started a tumblr page for this story, it will have character profiles from when I was writing my original notes for the story, info on story updates etc :**

 _ **takemysecondhandheart**_

Chapter 4: Say You'll Never Let Me Go

" _It's harder than you think, to find someone who truly believes in your unequivocal, unconditional awesomeness"  
―H_ _annah Harrington_

 ** _Song that inspired the chapter title:_** _Roses –_ The Chainsmokers

The scene that awaited me when I arrived back at the sixth year dorms could only be described as morose. Leanne and Charlotte were huddled on Rose's bed, Lee rocking back and forth, shock white staring blankly into space and Charlie trying desperately to get her to snap out of it. Romona lay flat on her back , wincing in pain , two eyes black and covered in some sort of foul-smelling yellow paste.

Worst of all was Rose, who was of course waiting for me on my bed, glaring angrily as she turned the pages of her Transfiguration book so hard they were almost ripping. Now you know things are bad when Rose Weasley is anything less than delicate around literature.

I sighed heavily. Why did I have to love all of these crazy people so much? I should have become a hermit, a loony happy loner who's only problems are her own.

But alas, it is not so.

"Jeez-Louise who died? Because it looks like a friggin' funeral in here"

Rose snapped her head around viciously, narrowing her eyes at my sarcastic tone.

"Who died? WHO DIED? How about my dignity. My integrity. All of my self-respect. All of it gone. Murdered by Scorpius 'Arse-Face' Malfoy." she finished with a flourish.

Wow, my best friend always had a flair for the dramatics. I'll tell you, its a testament to our friendship that I didn't burst out into raucous laughter. You should have seen as she sat there , arms folded , bottom lip petted , hair as red as her face like a petulant toddler.

"I'm sorry Rosie, I'll get the chocolate and we'll chat yeah?" I say softly, sitting on my bed gently beside her, still struggling to keep my face passive. I'm telling you, I'm a god damn saint.

"Thank you" she sniffed, shooting me a half smile.

 _Well, at least it's am improvement._

"Now, while I'm down at the kitchens, is there anything you need Romy? Some pain relief, chocolate, a cup of tea?"

"Maddock, did I ever tell you that I love you? All of the above please." she croaked back at me.

"Okay, coming right up!" I said cheerily, trying to breathe some life into this grim scene.

"Lee, is there anything you need?" I asked gently, kneeling down to meet her eye.

"If you could be a dear and kill me, that would be greatly appreciated" she groaned, face in hands, still maintaining a steady rocking pace.

"What the hell happened?" I asked, genuinely perplexed, Rose is always full of drama, but Leanne is usually the silent , "I don't give a shit , let's move on with our lives" kind of girl.

"FRRRCUGmMUSLPPNFRED" She wailed unintelligibly into her pillow, which was now coering her face in place of her hands.

"What?" I mouthed at Charlie, afraid to awaken the beast by asking a second time.

"Frank walked in on her having sex with Fred." she cringed.

I just blinked. Holy Fuck .Too. Many. Questions.

"Okay, well that's just...Um...Okay , yes...Firewhiskey when I get back girls?" I asked, unsure of how else to proceed in this situation. Hey, my best friend powers only stretch so far, and I'm in uncharted territory here!

A general noise of agreement filled the room and I left for the kitchens to get the requested items, relieved to have an excuse to leave.

On my way down, I realised that my liquor supplies were low. I could hardly get them from the kitchen, Damn elves.

 _AHA!_ I know where I can find some booze, or at least there better be , because I am NOT going back into that room sober.

"Dammit James, you're the biggest drunk I know ( _okay, second biggest_ ) , how do you not have any booze?!" I whisper to myself bitterly, rooting through what is frankly the single most disgusting trunk I have ever seen.

"Aw Maddock, if you wanted to get into my pants, all you had to do was ask" came a familiar teasing voice from the doorway.

"You know, I was thinking about it, but after seeing this mess, I'd rather avoid the tetanus shot thanks"

He chuckled at that.

"Trying to steal my Firewhiskey again?" He asked , raising one annoyingly bushy eyebrow at me.

"Technically , it's mines, I bought it for you" I snapped

"Only to replace the last batch you stole , klepto!" he laughed. I chuckled in response.

"C'mon Jamsey, there are four angry girls in my dorm who I really don't think I can face if I don't bring them alcohol and food stat."

He stared at me consideringly , as though weighing up his options. I knew then that I had won, he just likes to pretend that he has a choice in the matter. How cute.

Wow. _Cute?_

How _annoying_ I mean. Stupid brain.

As I was saying, I knew then that my little mission was successful, I just needed him to hand over the goods.

"Hmmm... Okay Brynndolyn. I might have what you're looking for" he said, stroking his chin as if deep in thought.

I blinked at him. Seeral seconds passed in pure silence.

" _Brynndolyn?_ Really Jamsey? That's not even a name."

"I know, I was trying something. Sorry"

"Do you have the goods or not?"

"I do, but I had to hide it since between you and Fred, I was spending a fortune on alcohol I wasn't even drinking. So if you want it, you an I will have to go on a little adventure. You game Maddock?" he smirked at me mischievously, making my stomach do this weird twisty turny thing that makes me feel nauseous.

Not to worry though, I have decided it is just his face making me sick. I think I'm a little bit allergic to him to be honest. It's a problem I've been having for about a year now. It seems to be getting worse though. Soon I'll have to avoid him altogether.

I sighed, resigned to my fate " Okay , lead the way"

The things I do for alcohol. _Mother would be so proud_.

This is the LAST time I let James bloody Potter talk me into going on one of his "little adventures", I am cold, hungry sober and tired, and have been lost in the Forbidden Forest for about two hours now.

"What in the name of Morgana would make you hide it here you nitwit?" I snap, trying to warm my bony hands by rubbing them together rapidly, to no avail.

"I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time" he muttered , searching a patch of shrubbery he swore blind, 'looked familiar'

And this guy is the top academically of his year. I fear for our generation.

"YES! Success! I knew it looked familiar!" He shouted triumphantly, revealing a rather impressive selection of alcohol.

"About bloody time as well! " I huff, as James starts loading crates onto his arms, muscles straining impressively. _NO Brain, down._

I shook my head at him as he struggled with the heavy boxes as I began shrinking the boxes in front of me, and putting them in my dress pocket. He stared at me then like he had been hit over the head with a club.

" _Shrink the boxes._ Of course!" he whispered, before moving to copy my actions.

I rolled my eyes, before resuming my rapid hand warming.

"You're cold" James stated bluntly.

"Well yes, it is the middle of December" I agree.

"Here, take this"

He passes me his favourite Chudley Cannons hoodie. I wanted to turn it down, be all noble and whatnot, but I was just too damn cold and grabbed it up like a dying man reaching for water.

"Thank you Jamie, for not being a little shit for once" I smiled then, wrapping myself up in the warmth of his big cosy jumper that was about five sizes too big.

"Hey! Don't I share my alcohol with you, my cigarettes, provide regular entertainment in the form of my pathetic love life and devastating wit" He said in a mock-hurt tone, poking me in the arm just a little too hard.

"Ouch! You big idiot, that's going to leave a bruise!" I responded , punching him in the arm.

"Okay, truce, let's head back up to the castle" he laughed, his eyes doing that twinkly thing they do where I feel like he's looking at me naked.

I agreed, and we walked back to the castle in a friendly fashion. He told me that he took my advice and made up with Orlaith. I felt a gentle stabbing in my gut. It was all very normal.

When we reached the castle doors I was ready to drop dead with exhaustion (did I not mention that I am extremely unfit?) only to find that we had been out for a LOT longer than expected, and we were locked out!

"This is just perfect" I grumbled, my good mood from earlier completely vanished.

"C'mon Brynnie, jump on my back, I'll carry you"

"Carry me where? We're locked out!" I exclaimed.

"Well, we can't very well stay here, can we? We'll get detention for being caught out after hours, not to mention that we're carrying a brewery's worth of booze. We'll have to go to the Shrieking Shack for tonight, and sneak in early tomorrow once the doors have been opened at five."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"This isn't the first time you've been locked out is it?"

"Nope, it's not even the second or third time" he laughed, "Don't ask, you don't want to know" he said in answer to my questioning look.

So I didn't, Instead I just let him carry me on his back to the rickety old shack, which to my pleasant surprise had been fashioned into a nice little den. There was a bed, and a table stacked with magazines, a pack of playing cards and a toothbrush.

"You weren't kidding when you said you'd done this before" I laughed, before promptly jumping onto the bed and wrapping all of the covers around me.

"Hey! Share! NO fair!" James pouted before jumping onto the bed violently and trying to wrestle the blankets from me. I laughed long and loud, enjoying this kind of wrestling game that we haven't played since I was ten years old. It felt familiar and free and warm.

"Okay, I give!" He panted, finally admitting defeat when I had him firmly pinned underneath me, blankets fallen to the floor. He probably could have beaten me, but he always did let me win. I could feel his pulse racing underneath my fingers where I had him pinned at the wrists, could feel the sweat in the air, and the hormones rushing through both of us, and I felt the most insane urge to kiss him.

But I let it pass.

"Of course you do, I am the CHAMPION!" I yelled in celebration, dancing around the shack in celebration.

He smiled at me then, a smile filled with some emotion I couldn't read. Maybe he knew that I had wanted to kiss him then, maybe he wanted me to; Maybe, like me, he had felt the fond rush of memories as we danced around like idiots.

Either way , I didn't ask. Never ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

The night passed by without many more weird confusing moments. We decided that we should crack open a couple of bottles of Firewhiskey , and so that's what we did. And then a few more. And then way more than a few more. We stayed up all night getting roaring drunk, I talked to him about my mother properly for the first time. I talked to him in a way I had never even talked to Rose.

I cried for a long time while he held me, stroking my hair and whispering sweet comforting words. He told me about all of the pressures of growing up under the spotlight, and about Orlaith. We talked about our hopes and our dreams, our worst fears and our most embarrassing moments. We smoked cigarettes, laughed until our sides hurt and then finally, wrapped up in each other's arms, we fell asleep.

I woke up slowly, groggy with a headache worse than any I had ever had before. I felt something crushing my chest , stopping my breathing.

I turned my head ever so slightly to see James, snoring away loudly, much to the chagrin of my headache, which pounded all the more for it.

"OI!" I bellowed, ignoring the scream of protest from my banging head. "Get up! What time is it?"

"Mnfp?" He stirred, opening his eyes, his glasses askew and tshirt missing. He must have taken it off during the night. He finally moved his arm, allowing me freedom from my muscley James prison.

I cast a quick _Tempus_ charm, only to see that it was 7.30am. Oh Merlin We were going to have to try to sneak in in the middle of the breakfast rush.

"C'mon, we have to get up! We're going to be late for class,and we reek of alcohol" I wrinkle my nose up at the smell.

"I'll call Fred on the mirror, he'll get our friends to cover for us, say we're out sick okay? We need to sleeeeeeep" He mumbled, trailing away towards the end.

I struggled to decide what to do then. On the one hand, I had never missed a full day's classes before , but on the other hand, the bed was so comfortable and warm.

James wrapped his arm back around me then, pulling me back in to him. So not what a boy with a girlfriend does, and as soon as he wakes up I'll tell him that. Probably. No, I will . But for now, sleep.

Who would have thought it. James Potter: Official Bad Influence and Most Comfortable Pillow Ever.

I am in so much trouble.

 **A/N: A lot of James/Brynn interaction in this chappie. I know it's a short one but I wanted to save the aftermath for the next chapter. Let me know what you think? Thanks for reading**

 **-Elf xx**


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